38 Months

My Sweet Mollie Girl,

I have been terrible at writing your letters... I mean I have only missed on month, but still... I am missing so much.  You are growing so fast and doing so much.  You are basically a little adult.  You are a strong, independent leader.  You are hilarious, you sing about everything, you are so very loving and just blow me away on a daily basis.

I can't believe the amount of things you have been through in the last month.  We just lost your Popa, my father, on May 11th.  You got to see him and smile at him and it made him cry... that was one of the last times he was able to communicate.  You said "Popa!  Hi Popa!  It's Mollie.  These tubes are supposed to make you feel better!  You okay?"  It made me cry, of course.  I didn't take you back after that, but we definitely had to ask you to hang on, wait, in a minute, not right now, give me a minute, mommy's busy, etc... It wasn't fair for you, but you handled it with such grace.

Mommy and Daddy needed to be with Grandma and your aunts and uncles... so we could all help each other through everything, but you were so sweet and loving.  You wouldn't leave grandma's arms after Popa passed away.  You wanted to make her feel better, because she was sad.  You tell me all the time how much you love me and that you don't want me to be sad.  You have been processing Popa's death on your own as well.  Mostly through songs and telling the story of Popa to everyone we meet.

Mostly... It is hard to discuss more than this right now, as it is sort of all I can think about.  It was really hard for us, as we were with your Popa when he passed, and while I wouldn't trade that, it was very difficult.  You, my love, are a special soul.  A loving, fiesty, sweet baby girl.  I love you so fiercely... there isn't much else I can think of to say.

You went to work with me in IL this week as well, and that was a lot of fun!  We swam for 3 hours one day, Nicola watched you, we went for walks in wheat fields and then you busted your chin wide open.  You were getting into the tub at the hotel to take a bath and you were excited, so you jumped up and slipped on the towel and busted your chin wide open and cut your tongue.  You gushed and gushed blood, but wouldn't let me let go of you.  You finally let me clean it up, I called the doctor, my pediatrician friend, Kristin, your daddy, and my colleague/friend Cassie, and decided to wait until the next morning to take you to the doctor.  I created some steri strips out of band-aids and the doc said I did a really great job, so you didn't end up needing stitches.  What an "abenture" (as you say).

I love you so much, my love.  We are getting ready for baby Maxon, and I am super ready to paint your room and make it your own.

I will write to you again soon.  Love you to the Moon and Back!

Mommy

Week 26 - May 7 - 13, 2015

My Sweet Maxon,

This letter comes with tears and heartache, and late, because I couldn't quite write it last week.  My father, your Popa Penrod, passed away this week.  He passed away on Monday, May 11th at 6:17pm at Baylor Heart Hospital in Plano, TX.  He passed away with Grandma, all of your aunts and uncles and a great aunt and uncle by his side.  It was one of the most difficult moments of my life, and when you are older I will share the experience with you.  The week before he passed away when he was a little more lucid, he wanted to feel you kicking.  You kicked him good a few times.  He so wanted to be there to hold you on the day you were born, to give you kisses and sing you one of the songs he wrote.  I am going to really struggle with that reality on the day you are born.  It will be a day of great joy and also of some sadness for me.  Your grandma will be there and will snuggle you for both of them.

I don't know that there is much more I can say except, I love you.  I am grateful for you... feeling you kicking me and rolling around brought me such a peace this week.  While one life was fading, one was growing... It showed me the true circle of life - before my very eyes.  How do I say how much you are loved, except to say it?  I do I show you how much you are loved, except to show you?  I so look forward to lots of snuggles and kisses in 14 short weeks.

I love you, my beautiful son.

Mommy

Week 23 (April 16 - 22, 2015), Week 24 (April 23 - 29, 2015), Week 25 (April 30 - May 6)

Hey Sweet Boy,

This has been an insane few weeks, hence my lack of posts for the last three weeks.  I really want to talk with you weekly, but circumstances have prevented me from doing so.  Your Popa, my dad, has been gravely ill.  In fact, I am sorry to say, I don't think you will even get to meet him.  I have been driving and flying back and forth from Dallas to be with him, your grandma, your uncles, aunts and cousins.  I do feel like we are here to say goodbye, and that is very hard.  I don't even know that your sister will remember him, and let me tell you... your sister LOVES Popa.  It is a hard time for me right now, but feeling your kicks, hits and nudges actually calms me and gives me a sense of peace.

Week 23!!! 

Your baby is more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound, about the size of a large mango, you may be able to see him squirm underneath your clothes.

Week 24!!!

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at about 1 1/3 pounds. Since he's almost a foot long, about the size of an ear of corn, he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. 

Week 25!!!

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — 1 1/2 pounds — isn't much more than, about the size of a rutebaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

I sure do try to keep up with my little updates, but with all of the emotion of the last couple of weeks... well, it is all I can do.  I want you to know that you are moving so much right now... kicking me and elbowing me all the time.  I love how active you are, it brings me peace and comfort.  Know, my little man, that you are loved intensely, and your daddy and I cannot wait to hold you in 15 short weeks!!!

Love you, 

Mommy

 

Week 22 - April 9 - 15, 2015

Hi Sweet Boy,

Can you believe that we are 22 weeks along already?   You are over 11 inches long and over 1 WHOLE pound... big boy!  You are about the size of a spaghetti squash!  It makes me laugh that these pregnancy sites compare you to fruits and veggies as you grow, but I guess it makes some sense!  Only 18 weeks to go before you are in my arms (and your daddy's and your sister's).  We all love you so very much and Mollie talks to you and gives you kisses every day!

I went to Prenatal Yoga for the first time this week, and it really was incredibly relaxing and supportive.  I loved it.  Trying to decide if I can get all the way out there on a regular basis, but boy would it be nice for the meditation, reflection, stretching, peace, and a chance to just send you my undivided attention and love for an hour.  Life is so crazy, so getting to enjoy you and send you uninterrupted peace and love is a real joy for me.  :-)

We have a lot going on right now at Casa Janiszewski!  Mollie and I cleaned up the backyard/pool area, which you will love, to get ready for mulching and for the pool to be opened.  Tonight we have a design appointment in the hopes of remodeling the house, so we have more room that works for us for your arrival!  Everything is so exciting around here!

Here I am at 22 weeks strong!  My sweet, growing boy!

Week 21 - April 2 - 8, 2015

Hey Little Man!

You are moving this week!!!  So very active... at night ;-) You are approximately the size of a carrot, though you are measuring bigger than that!  We went to Chattanooga on Saturday, April 4th with Uncle Abe, Aunt Val and Jimmy.  We had so much fun!  We went to the Aquarium and played outside, went to Lookout Mountain and then had dinner out before heading home!  What a full and fun family day!

On Sunday the 5th, we had our 2nd Annual Easter Egg Hunt with some mommy friends and their kids, and your sister was a master!  She filled up her Easter Basket and then some.  You were kicking away, so it was nice that you made your presence known... next year we will have you out there :-)

I went to Arcola, IL for work, as we are getting closer to opening the show, so it was just you and me.  Daddy stayed home with your sister and they had a ball!

Here I am (and you are) at 21 weeks!  Last night was fun, because I just laid my hand on my tummy and you kicked for a solid hour.  It was nice to feel you so active.  Of course, I had a little chocolate, so maybe that was the reason.

Keep growing and moving, my little love.  I can't wait to hold you in 19 short weeks! 

Love, Mommy

YOU ARE THREE YEARS OLD!!!!

My Little Love,

How is it possible that you are 3 years old???  You are growing, changing, and developing into this little lady.  You surprise me every single day and keep me laughing.  You are wild and crazy, you sing ALL THE TIME, you make jokes, you work things out, you wiggle your bum, you like to hide (under your grankie) every time we go somewhere (and make everyone find you), and you love to ask questions.  Your favorite question right now is "Why?" or "Because Why?"  I see this question frustrate a lot of parents, but I absolutely love it... so does your Daddy.  I don't ever mind you asking the question, as long as when issues of your safety arise that you still respond and listen immediately.

You love to climb... ON EVERYTHING.  You are actually really good at it.  You like only the big kid equipment at the park, but you have been that way since you were little.  You climbed up this massive, steep slide (that is in a tube) all by yourself a couple of weeks ago.  You enjoy playing games now.  We have quite a few games... mostly monster games, that you love.  Feed the Woozle, a monster puzzle game, dominoes, cards, matching and memory games, and we play them all pretty regularly.  You still love to do puzzles, but you pull them out, do them quickly, and then put them back, but you still seem to love the process of doing them!

You pick your clothes, dress yourself (unless you really don't feel like it - in which case "I NEED HELP!" comes out of your mouth), you get your own drinks and food... you are super self-sufficient.  It is both fun and amazing!  You are excited about your baby brother and talk about him a lot.  You want to know things about it, talk about what you are going to teach him, and you are gentle with my belly... always giving him kisses!  You are also really funny about stuff - I told you that I was going to feed Baby Max from my breasts just like I did for you, and now you will push on them saying "I bang on Max's food!"  You think that is hilarious, and of course I can't help but laugh.

You sing about absolutely everything, and want us to sing about everything too.  This seems to be how you communicate what you are thinking.  Your life is basically a musical. You dance more now.  You have always danced, but you seem to enjoy dancing a little more now, and shaking that booty!

 You and your daddy REALLY enjoy being silly together.  These made me laugh so hard!

We met your newest cousin before your birthday!  You and I flew to Texas to meet Baby Henry the day he was born!  It was so amazing!  You were an awesome traveler, even though it was really difficult to keep you entertained at the hospital!

You wanted to get dressed up like a mermaid! Olivia let you use hers... adorable!

We took you, Olivia, and Lily to the Celtic festival and you guys had a BALL!  It gave Uncle A-Aron, Aunt Jenny and Baby Henry some time to hang!  

 Your Aunt and cousins made you a birthday cake (you helped, and licked it off the counter, and dug into it with your fingers making it impossible to properly ice it, but you had a blast) and we sang happy birthday!

 You guys adore each other so very much!  Makes my heart happy... even when you argue and fight!

 A pic of all the kiddos (minus Jimmy) with Popa!

Shanell, our dear friend and amazing photographer, took your 3-year-old pics and our family pictures.  They turned out beautifully, despite the fact that you were not interested.  Her daughter was there and we were outside... you wanted to run and play, which I love!  Here are some of my favorites:

Your birthday was a lot of fun.  It was just you, me and daddy.  We made breakfast, complete with rainbow waffles, took you to Murfreesboro to the indoor water place, had a nap, went to eat at El Rey, our favorite Mexican restaurant and just had a beautiful day!  Your party was amazing!  Lots of friends, lots of gifts, at the park, perfect weather... it could not have been better.  Everyone dressed like their favorite Disney/Pixar characters... You were Minnie Mouse and Jimmy was Mickey.  When we asked you what theme you wanted for your birthday... you named every Disney/Pixar character you could think of, so Daddy said... Why not!?

I love watching you learn, grow, do, think, process and be.  You are an amazing little human, and I am so honored to have you in my life, and to be in yours. Oh, how I dearly love and adore you, I love holding and snuggling you, but mostly I love our developing and deep relationship.  You aren't really aware of it in the same sense I am at this point, but I love you intensely.  I am so grateful that I am your mommy.  I'm excited about every single day I get with you.  

I love you to the moon and back, so much all the time, more than the universe and more than there are words to describe.  You are my girl!  

Love, Mommy