Hey Little Love,
I actually thought I posted a 34 month blog, and then come into the system to realize I never finished writing it and never posted it. I am sad that I am missing the detailing of all your growth and development, but I am EXPERIENCING it, which is better than anything. I do, however, want to be able to share with you when you are older all the amazing things you said and did at each stage, and I want to be able to REMEMBER it all too. I always think "I'll NEVER forget that she just said or did this or that," but then the next day... I can barely remember it. Old brain? Baby brain? Or could there possibly just be more information in my head than I can consciously handle? It is stored in there somewhere.
We were watching videos of you as a baby together - you kept saying you wanted to "go there... with Baby Mollie," and trying to explain to you that the videos were taken in the past, and that we no longer lived in that house anymore was more difficult to explain than I would have thought. I think it is fascinating that you want to hang out with yourself as a baby... I dig that.
We had the biggest ice/snow in YEARS this past week... you had NO SCHOOL for an entire week. I think parents and children alike across Nashville were about to lose their minds. We had some really fun moments playing in the snow, but at the end of a full week... cabin fever had set in.
We talk about baby Max all the time (by the way... we found out you are going to have a little brother) and we talk about taking care of him, nursing him, what is going on in my tummy, etc. We watch videos online of how he is growing and developing... you are fascinated. You ask almost every day if you can get in my tummy too. I have a collection of maternity pics on a shelf and we look at those and talk about how it was you in my tummy then. You ask if you can go back in, if Daddy plans to get in my tummy and when Max is coming out. It is fascinating how your sweet little brain processes all of this. I LOVE talking to you about it.
You really care about him. You talk about giving him kisses and hugs, helping to change his diaper, feeding him, and cleaning up after him should he pee on the floor. You give him a kiss every day, gently rub my belly and say "I love you Max. I'm going to be your big sister." Hormones or not... that will make a girl cry. You keep my heart melted with your kindness and sweetness. While you enjoy challenging me and being your own gal (safety be damned), I actually quite love it. It tests me, sometimes I fail the test, and it is great for your growth as well.
You still say things like "orangish" and "I want to do it by on my own," which makes me soooo happy I could just cry, but so many of your baby and toddler ways of doing and saying things are fading into my big girl. In three weeks you will be three years old. I am not so sure I am handling this well.
Your daddy and I just had a conversation last night about how I so want to hang onto these moments. You aren't always going to need us, want to play with us, or melt every time we tell you we love you and are proud of you. That is a hard pill to swallow. One day, you will leave and go be your own woman. I just realize how quickly that is going to happen, and I want to hang onto it with all my might, without smothering you.
I can't always play with you when you want me to, or run around the house with you on my back or on my side (I'm pregnant and really tired right now), but then I feel like I am letting you down. I am learning to give myself grace, because I want you to do the same for yourself for the rest of your life. I want you to push yourself and challenge yourself, but give yourself grace when the situation calls for it. I want to hold onto every moment, write everything down, play with you every time you ask (which is every 5 minutes), but sometimes it isn't possible. You know you are loved, you know we value and respect you, and you know that most of the time I say yes.
Last Thursday, we went over to your Aunt Jess (Aunt due to lifelong friendship) and Reme Lynn's house. We celebrated her birthday with her because we were going to be out of town for her birthday party. We brought her a gift, a balloon and a cupcake and had a little party. It was a lot of fun. She was tired and missed her mommy, but you guys still had fun. You did take her spoon at one point, which made her break down again, and we ended up having to go to the thinking chair. You apologized and gave her a hug and a kiss (I don't make you apologize unless you seem to understand why you should). Everything seemed better... you talked about that every single day since. It made some kind of impact on you, because you seemed to understand that you hurt her feelings, and you bring it up if you feel someone has hurt your feelings. It is so interesting. Thanks for keeping me on my toes!
On Friday the 20th, we went to your Aunt Veronica's shower. She is having her baby boy, Donovan, in a few weeks. It was a lot of fun... you and I drove to Michigan all by ourselves. We got to see Grammie, Papa Ed, Aunt Veronica, Uncle Nate, Aunt Lexi, Uncle John and your cousins, Bailey, Weston, and Riley. You also were able to meet Uncle Nate's sister, Kat, and his mom, Sharon. Grammie and Grandma Sharon brought you gifts. It was so wonderful!
We took you to the mall last night, we rode the train and the carousel, at some Greek Food, ran you around the mall in your umbrella stroller, and watched you charm everyone you met. "What's your name? Oh... my name is Mollie. I am two years old. My birthday is March and 17 and I will be "fwee" (three). They smile and their eyes sparkle. You have your little conversation and we walk away having made someone's day. At least that is what I see every time you make someone smile from ear-to-ear with your shining personality. It makes me want to cry... it makes my heart explode!
You, my love, are my star! I can't wait to celebrate 3 years of your beautiful life in a few weeks. With that, I leave you with a little taste of Mollie's fun personality!
I love you to the moon and back & so much all the time,
Mommy
